


Dorks of the North

by Norsku



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 18:11:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12487788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norsku/pseuds/Norsku
Summary: Denmark created the chat "Nordorks"Denmark added Iceland, Norway, Sweden, and Finland to the chatWhat could go wrong?AKA: The Nordics chatroom fic nobody asked for.





	Dorks of the North

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, my name is Norsku and I have too much time on my hands.  
> Enjoy the result of my bored sleeplessness. XD
> 
> This was written for my own personal enjoyment so any ships included or hinted at are in there because I like them. I'm not really trying to impress anyone, so don't bother yelling at me. XD
> 
> (My girlfriend helped me out with this. She doesn't have an account here or I'd link it.)

_**Denmark** created the chat **Nordorks** ___

____

____

_**Denmark** added **Iceland, Norway, Sweden, and Finland** to the chat_

**Denmark:** hey guys!! 

**Denmark:** i made a thing

**Finland:** Hei! What’s up, guys?

**Iceland:** What is this?? Why am I here?

**Sweden:** I have to be somewhere.

**Denmark:** nooooo wait this is fun

**Denmark:** its a chatroom so we can all keep in touch 

**Norway:** Why would we want that?

**Finland:** I think it’s neat! I miss you guys sometimes

**Iceland:** I need to be working 

**Finland:** Working is less fun than friend-time, Icey

**Iceland:** but it needs to be done, is the difference

**Denmark:** aaaaaaaaahh why are you such a killjoy

**Iceland:** Excuse you

**Finland:** *pouts*

**Finland:** Friend-time is necessary, Icey -__-

**Iceland:** why

**Finland:** Because it makes everyone happy

**Finland:** Even you

**Denmark:** is icey ever happy

**Sweden:** With Hong Kong

**Norway:** What

**Finland:** Nor, we have this conversation every time.

**Finland:** Icey is “secretly” dating Hong Kong

**Finland:** He has been for years

**Finland:** You know this

**Norway:** …

**Iceland:** ?

**Norway:** I never want that boy coming over again 

**Finland:** You don’t even live together anymore, Nor

**Norway:** I don't care

**Finland:** What if Icey randomly decided you couldn’t date?

**Norway:** He can't do that

**Norway:** I'm his big brother 

**Finland:** What if Den did it, then? He’s your big brother.

**Norway:** Nobody listens to Den

**Denmark:** hey!

**Sweden:** I listen to Den to know how not to be

**Denmark:** see, sweden listens to me

**Norway:** Wait for it

**Denmark:** wait

**Denmark:** hey!!!

**Iceland:** Why am I being subjected to this

**Iceland:** Can I go now 

**Finland:** Ei. We are going to have hAPPY FUN TIME DAMNIT

**Iceland:** Yeah, let's pretend we're a happy family -_-

**Finland:** I’m a happy family…

**Finland:** All by myself

**Iceland:** ...I am literally an island 

**Denmark:** shit, it's fin’s morbid day

**Finland:** Russia tried to take my ports again -__-

**Denmark:** damn. sweden, cant you tell russia to fuck off or something 

**Sweden:** I did. Emphasis on “tried”

**Norway:** Denmark, you know starting wars isn't the solution to everything, right?

**Denmark:** how do you know 

**Finland:** I would start a war, if I wanted

**Finland:** According to the internet, I make up less than 1% of the population of the world

**Finland:** Since even the most accurate census has a margin of error of 1%

**Finland:** I have a 50/50 chance that I don’t actually exist

**Finland:** Food for thought

**Norway:** I think you've ruined Denmark’s shower thoughts 

**Norway:** Since he's not particularly large either

**Denmark:** im trying to decide if you're talking about land area or insulting my manhood 

**Finland:** Your entire country is a penis

**Iceland:** oh my god

**Iceland:** Okay you weird old men have ten seconds to keep me interested in staying 

**Finland:** Icey, Den has less of a chance of existing than I do

**Finland:** That’s fuuun

**Norway:** Do I exist?

**Iceland:** seriously, Norway? 

**Finland:** I’ll look, but Icey apparently makes up 0% of the world’s population

**Iceland:** I'm about to be gone

**Iceland:** bye 

**Denmark:** from the chat or the world

**Iceland:** I'm choosing to ignore that

_**Finland** added a picture:_

 

**Iceland:** I'm huge

**Iceland:** you're making this up 

**Denmark:** fin, please tell me he's smaller than me 

**Finland:** I’m .9%, Den is .8%, Nor is .7%, Icey is 0%, and I’m looking for Sweden

**Iceland:** but people actually live here

**Iceland:** You don't make any sense 

**Finland:** Sweden is .13%

**Finland:** I really am the heaviest :(

**Denmark:** somebody tell me we're not suggesting fin’s manhood is bigger than mine 

**Finland:** No, Den

**Finland:** It just means I’m fat

**Iceland:** and what, I'm not? 

**Iceland:** if population was the same as weight, China wouldn't look so fit 

**Finland:** Shhh Ice

**Finland:** I’m trying to find a reason that doesn’t make me feel bad -_-

**Iceland:** You're not fat. Denmark is fat. Can I go now?

**Denmark:** okay i came here to have a good time 

**Norway:** Don't finish that. 

**Finland:** Icey, I saw Hong Kong the other day, btw

**Iceland:** Where?

**Finland:** My house

**Finland:** He wanted to know what you wanted for your b-day

**Iceland:** I'm too old to celebrate my birthday, though. 

**Finland:** You take that back

**Finland:** No one is too old for birthdays -__-

**Iceland:** I am 

**Denmark:** icey is just a buzzkill 

**Iceland:** Shut up, Denmark 

**Finland:** You’re only 73

**Iceland:** That's too old for birthday parties 

**Finland:** I’m turning 100 this year and I will cry if you don’t let me have a party -__-

**Denmark:** dont worry fin, icey is just mean

**Iceland:** what part of “shut up” is so hard for you? 

**Finland:** I love you, Icey, but you’re bringing me down

**Iceland:** That's what I do best 

**Finland:** *pouts*

**Iceland:** Look, what do you want me to do? 

**Denmark:** chill XD 

_**Iceland** has left the chat_

**Finland:** I broke him

**Finland:** I’m sorry, Nor

**Norway:** Don't worry. He’ll just ignore us for a while. 

**Norway:** It's just us “old men” now. 

**Finland:** I’M NOT OLD

**Finland:** I’M ONLY 99

**Norway:** Okay, it's just us "old men" and Finland. 

**Denmark:** i wouldn't say im that old 

**Finland:** Norway is 1145 years old-__-

**Norway:** I'm too old for all of you. 

**Norway:** Denmark is mentally young 

**Denmark:** i feel sO ATTACKED RN

**Finland:** Den, you’re 1517 years old if not older…

**Norway:** And yet still the mind of a child. 

**Denmark:** nooooooorrrr

**Denmark:** and who's counting 

**Finland:** Sweden is only 620

**Denmark:** damn XD 

**Norway:** This is all solid proof that maturity level does not correlate with age. 

**Finland:** I am a freaking baby compared to you guys

**Denmark:** but like

**Denmark:** icey XD 

**Finland:** I’m only like 20 years older than he is though

**Denmark:** but still XDD 

**Denmark:** oh hey guys by the way

**Denmark:** what would you say to me getting a tattoo on my ass

**Norway:** I'll again draw your attention to the fact that this man is 1500+ years old

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone actually wants to see this continued (which I doubt), let me know. XD


End file.
